Don't worry, I'm never going away again.

I just spent 4 entire days away from the Little Bird.

While I expected some level of discomfort physically and a complete emptiness of missing her, there were a few other side effects that I didn't expect... but I'll get to that in due time.

Saying goodbye to her was so difficult!!! Unfortunately (or maybe luckily for my tear ducts!), I had a major stress right before I was about to leave. My first flight out of New York (to DC) was cancelled due to weather exactly 2 hours before the flight. UGH. So I called the airline, and they offered me a few options that were leaving earlier. This wouldn't have been a problem if I was flying out of JFK, but I wasn't. LGA in Queens is an entire borough, several highways, and A LOT of traffic away. So when my only options were a flight that left in less than an hour, and another that left in 70 minutes, I was as panicked as you would expect. We threw the Little Bird in the car, and took off. We pulled into the airport with only a few minutes for me to spare, and I, of course, started crying. I knew I didn't have time to take her out of her car seat for hugs and crying, so I basically laid on top of her and kissed her face until she started scratching at my cheeks. She seemed done. I went in the airport, got my boarding pass, got through security, and promptly had a sensible nervous breakdown as soon as I got to the gate.

Coincidentally, I made the earlier flight. But it didn't take off until almost an hour after my original flight was scheduled to leave. Which made me miss my connector in DC. Which made me want to throw up. After a lot of juggling, begging, and literally pouting at a ticket agent, I got to Indianapolis after midnight. Neat.

I had a blast with my friends once I was there, but there was a constant emptiness in my chest. I missed The Bird so much. She was in my every thought. The first night, I woke up several times and panicked because I couldn't hear her breathing. I've had her [in her bassinet and then her pack and play] next to me for so long that listening to her sleep has become essential to actually resting. I don't know why this surprised me, but it did. I'm as tough as I thought.

It took a little bit to get into the swing of being at a convention that had me scheduled minute to minute, and finding time to pump! I admit, I was also a little bit shy to pump in front of my roommates, but all but one of them were mamas themselves and they knew it was something I had to do. I am so thankful that they made me feel safe and comfortable doing such an uncomfortable thing. They all heard the pump "speaking" to them too! Like I do when I'm pumping late at night with no other sounds except for the "zzwoooobaahhh zzwooooobaaaahhhhh" of the motor. Hilarious.

I definitely had a dip in production, but I expected that. Despite my best efforts, I only came back with about 10 ounces of milk, but that was 10 ounces that I worked HARD for, pumping on meal breaks and for 30 minutes at night before I went to sleep. I'm proud of every single drop. I'm coming back with a vengeance this week and trying some other measures to get some kind of supply back. I'll let you know what happens.

The one, extremely unexpected, thing that happened surprised me on the second day. After more than a year of it's absence, I was really unhappy to welcome my period back. :( LAME!!!!! I think that it has something to do with not physically nursing and being away from the baby that kicked my ovaries back into action, or I just have the worst luck of all time. Either way, I lose!!

So imagine me, SHOCKED by the most unpleasant of surprises, in a football stadium bathroom, completely unprepared. You rise to the occasion, become extremely resourceful, and do what you have to do to get through, but then the universe throws you another curveball... There is only one grocery, drugstore, corner store in walking distance (or rather, that you can walk to in the amount of time you need to get back in time for your next session) and it closes at 7pm. While you're in the middle of your  current session. NEAT. Thanks for that fail, CVS. You're on my list now.

This leaves me to scramble like a preteen at summer camp. I buy emergency supplies at the hotel, but the price gouging is absolutely ridiculous - $4 for TWO tampons. ARE YOU JOKING ME?!?! Unless they're make of solid gold, there is really no reason for that, and even then, they won't be absorbent and I'm not interested! I then find a magical machine that sells 'em for 25 cents, and buy it out. This lasts me until I get to the airport, and I feel like the smartest woman alive. I've beat the system!!

I can't tell you how much I missed her. It felt like the end of the world that I didn't get to kiss her goodnight, tuck her in, tickle her belly, and nibble her tiny toes. We did facetime, and that definitely made me teary, but helped the yearning. I even got to kiss her goodnight... *sort of*

A sleepy bird looks very confused at the large
and strange thing on Daddy's phone screen.
Where'd mommy's face go?
There are just weird lips there now, and I can't even grab 'em!

I had an amazing time at the reunion, but I could barely sleep on the last night... I was so excited that I was going home to my girl (and her Daddy!) Two flights later, one layover, and a lot of turbulence (seriously, people screamed. No joke.) later, I was home snuggling her as tight as I could. I was too happy to cry. There were no tears left. I could only stare at her, completely in awe of how she was so different, yet still so much the same. She definitely matured over the last week. She just fell asleep while she was playing in her playgym - something that she's never done before. I can see her maturing in front of my eyes, and I never want to miss another moment.

Reunited and it feels so so so so good.

It had to go...

There are two things I have received the most flack for since Bean’s birth. The first is not sending out birth announcements (I’m currently working on that one) and the other is her hair. My baby has a mullet. She was born with a full head of beautiful brown hair.

Proof!

Those beautiful locks quickly fell out, EXCEPT the hair above her neck in the back, leaving her with a classy mullet. If this were 1986, Bean would be at the height of fashion, but alas it is not.

Now, I’ve long been a fan of the mullet - business in the front, party in the back. My friends and I often frequented mulletsgalore.com in high school, which sadly no longer exists, I just found out. But a mullet on my beautiful baby girl? Not so cute.

Party in the back!

So tonight, after weeks of my mother threatening to cut it off in my absence while at work, I cut my baby’s hair.

I got her all situated in her Bumbo seat so I would have easy access to the back of her head.  Hattie, who is afraid of thunder, climbed into my lap because of the storm outside, which I have to say made for an excellent photo.

While my handiwork certainly isn’t perfect, its much better than a mullet. Hopefully Bean will forgive me for this post by the time she leaves for college. 

Ta Da!

Have you ever succumbed to pressure from family or friends and changed something about your baby?

Was your baby born with funny hair... or is there something about your baby that you find hilarious?

And really... how long does this baby pattern baldness really last?!

And because I just can't leave you with a picture of the back of Bean's head, here's something a little more adorable... her learning to stick her tongue out!

Tweet!! It's Cotton Bootylicious - June Edition!

Let's everyone hold in our excitement... the June Cotton Booty box has arrived! This time in an envelope because they went over the weight limit for the box. Oh shucks. That's a shame.

Here's this months shakedown!
Looks promising....

This month brings us two things that I'm really excited about, and a wet bag... but I think you can never have enough wet bags, so I'm pretty excited all around.

First things first, let's talk dipes.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE DIAPER PATTERN WE HAVE EVER HAD!

This is the Bumkins Stuff-it pocket diaper with one minky insert and one PUL backed waterproof insert in the WORLDS BEST PRINT - Tweet! Seriously, this is IT for the Little Bird. I haven't used a Bumkins pocket before so this is definitely something new for me, which is the biggest perk of this service, and really the reason that I've signed up for this subscription box. I have a few Bumkins covers that I use with prefolds, so I am aware of the quality that the company turns out, but I have to say, I find the covers heavy (as compared to flip covers that we use most often), and I don't find this pocket diaper heavy at all. A big plus!

The fit on Little Bird is actually really great. She's pretty skinny, and I like a lot of options for a snug fit (velcro/aplix is not for me - somehow I always miss the laundry tabs and things get stuck together/ruined/disasterfied), so the Bumkins snaps really get her a snug fit around the legs. We started with just the minky insert, which is just fine for day and play, and I have her on the smallest rise and snapped to the center. There's still a little gap in the front, but any further and there would be red marks on her belly. 

I tried stuffing with both inserts, which I would for a long nap or overnight, but that was a little too bulky between her legs for playtime. 

Here's a gratuitous cute picture before we continue...

ahhhh, that's better.

This diaper retails for $15.95 and is a one size, fitting 7-32 pounds! yowza.

Next we have a Bumkins wet bag in Yellow Fish.
I love me some Dr. Seuss (who happens to share a birthday with my husband), but I'm not super crazy about this print. I have two other Bumkins wet bags in this same size that I got from Zulily before Little Bird was even born, and a Cat in the Hat bag with two pockets that I use more often. I do love how many diapers fit into this size bag - while I was out of town with Little Bird, I could fit 2 entire days worth of diapers in a bag this size, which was at least 8 stay dry Flip inserts, 2-3 Flip covers, 4 pocket diapers, 4 microfiber inserts, and at least 4 charcoal bamboo inserts. I think that's pretty impressive, no? I roll them pretty tight, but it's definitely a bag that can hold a hefty load!

This guy retails for $10.95.
(So, we've already exceeded our retail price for the box! I repeat... Great Deal!)

onto the sample of the month...

This is the part of the box that I'm pretty intrigued about.
It's no secret that I have had some major breastfeeding struggles and supply problems. In fact, there are days when I pump that I only get a quarter of an ounce per session. I know. It's pathetic. And disheartening. And makes me feel like a failure. So, of course, I do everything I can to boost supply. Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, pumping like a lunatic, oatmeal, so much water I feel like I might drown.

I am always willing to try something to help my supply. This product from Need (which is owned by the cute Tia and Tamara Mowry! Check it out here!) seems to contain all of the hot button herbs that everyone recommends without having to choke down tea that tastes like feet. (No offense to Mothers Milk tea, but I can't even handle the smell. It tastes like I steeped B's socks in hot water and then added honey).

I just tried this, and it has its good and bad points. I like that it's just a little shot (and one Weight Watchers point, if anyone is counting), goes down pretty quickly and doesn't taste like the lactation teas. However, it does taste a little reminiscent of the glucose drink that they give you for the sugar test while you're pregnant, or like a 5-hour energy drink. I needed a water chaser and a little finger-full of peanut butter after I was done. I don't think I'm going to see a result from one sample, since they advise two bottles per day to see a result, but if I do see an increase, I'll be sure to let you know.

Pssstttt, Tia and Tamara! If you want to send me a weeks supply, I'd be more than happy to report my results for the studio audience. If it works, I'll sing your praises from every rooftop!

And, just because we all like it so much, here's a few snaps of the Little Bird, looking so so so cute in this "tweet" pattern!

Who says Birds and Kitties don't get along?
Behold the Little Bird and Sookie, snuggling on the blanket.
[no babies or kitties were harmed in the making of this photo... in fact, there were copious kisses]

Until next month, my dears.